GET OUT OF THE WAY!

As part of my job now, I drive a lot. 40,000 miles a year isn't uncommon. Because of this, I am extremely "sensitive" to people driving like assholes. Now after I fly past them, I'm sure they think the same of me, but I am never an ass to someone who isn't driving like a cock with ears.
I could go on and on about how the laws surrounding driving are asinine in their own right. Highway speeds are too slow. Secondary road speeds are completely arbitrary. Most traffic lights seem to have been put in place because someone bitched, not to move traffic efficiently. It's all fucked. I could go on endlessly about government interfering where it should mind its own business (yeah, I know, like I haven't already), but my biggest problem is with people who get behind the wheel of their rolling masses of death without a brain.
Biggest issue: People don't really learn how to drive. Sure, many teenagers take "drivers education", but it gives them the basics, maybe, and everything else they're supposed to learn while they're driving on their own or with their parents. If their parents suck as drivers, then their kids are going to suck. And 95% of what they teach kids is driving in and around town. Highway driving seems to be an afterthought for these "schools" and as such, you get people on the highway and it's all over.
Tie into this that it isn't a requirement. If you can show a "testing officer" you're not going to drive into a pole, they give you a license. Obviously, I haven't had to take a driving test in a long time, but mine was around the block, parallel park, back in, got my license. Sure, there's a written test, but really, if you read the manual and take it right away after, you'll pass.

Driving properly takes a high level of skill. Doesn't seem it, but it truly does. You have to constantly be watching ahead of you. You have to anticipate that the clown ahead with their left blinker on is actually going to cut across two lanes and go left. You have to be ready for the ass clown following too close to you is going to smack into your bumper when you have to hit the brakes hard because the guy in front of you acts like a dick. Tire blow outs, debris, animals, douche nozzles just stepping off the curb and walking blindly into the road. Coordinating speed through a turn so you don't enter too fast, you maintain speed through it, you don't lane drift. But people fuck it up because they're entirely self-absorbed.

A pet peeve for me is the "Me" culture. As I've mentioned, all actions are personal and done for self gratification. No one is truly altruistic. Studies have been done that show if you don't care about your self and only care for others, you'll be dead in a month. We help others because we want to feel better about ourselves. That's not a knock or some odd form of condescension, it is what it is. I do it because I believe it's right and I don't want to "harm" myself. But it's this shift from doing things for others to make yourself happy to expecting others to do something for you. This translates perfectly to the highways and biways

Lane discipline grinds the shit out of me. If the term is a little lost on you, it's simple: The farther left you go, the faster you go. If you're not passing, move right. The fucking signs on the road even say it. But this is a pipe dream to the modern driver. People get out in that left lane and stay there until they have to turn. I wouldn't even mind if they were paying attention to their mirrors and when they saw a rocket barreling up on them, they got out of the way before that person had to slow down. No... scratch that... it still bugs the shit out of me. Unless you're turning left within 1/4 mile, MOVE THE FUCK OVER!
I'm sure someone out there is calling me a hypocrite, because I'm telling others to get out of my way, but that's the way the road is designed and guess what, the law even says so. Now, I'm potentially breaking it by flying down the highway at speeds that... well... you get the point, but it is the way it is. This is why we couldn't have an American version of the Autobaun.  Driving at high speeds on a highway requires people to pay attention to all other moving items around them and to maintain strict lane discipline. If you're not passing, move, period.
It's been my experience that the two "groups" more prone to this than others are old white people and black women. Sorry if you find that offensive, but it's been what I've seen. Put a hat on the old white guy and it all goes to shit; run for cover, because they will fuck up your road experience. Pull over. Get some coffee. Let them get home before you get back on the road because they cause havoc.

I won't complain much about assholes on their phone or texting. Others may say they can do it alright, it's the other guy who can't, but it's all bullshit. You're distracting yourself from driving, fuck you, you're a cunt. End of that complaint.

Pedestrians. When I was young, if you ran out into the street or even walked out and your parents caught you, they'd smack you in the head or ass, depending on your parents attitude and how old you are. It was to tell you "Hey, dumbass, do that again and you're gonna get hit, it's gonna hurt, stop doing that." Now, thanks to the nanny laws, you are required to stop for a pedestrian. Doesn't matter if they just blindly step out; you are legally required to stop. And people have come to expect this. They have forgotten about something called "The Law Of Gross Tonnage"
This is more of a boating term, but the principal applies: While the "rules" may state otherwise, common sense says that larger boats and ships have the right of way over smaller ones because they are less maneuverable and can't see as well. In a previous life, I dealt with this a lot and would see a single mast sailboat turn directly in front of a 100+ ton loaded commuter boat underway. That's a great way to get yourself killed.
Same thing for driving and pedestrians: You are 100x more maneuverable than a car in motion. 2 tons on wheels takes longer to stop than 150lbs on 2 legs. "But by the law, they're supposed to stop!" As Dad used to say; "Just because you're right doesn't make it hurt any less."
This is another example of the "Me" culture.

The other collection of fucktards I could do without are the people who can't stand being passed. As you move left and try to pass them, they speed up, meaning you need to speed up even faster and they keep speeding up. Or, after you pass them and move right, they speed up and pass you, just to slow down again. There's a smaller minority who, after you pass them, they will speed up, pass you, then stay ahead of you without slowing down. They still suck, but not as bad. This tends to be younger men who do these things and younger black men who pass you and stay at speed. I don't mind being the head of a snake (line of people speeding and as you pass someone, they see that if they keep up, the chances of being caught speeding diminish, so they join the line), but don't be a cock.

Lastly, speed. I would fathom a guess and say 85% of drivers exceed the posted speed limit regularly. But the biggest issue here is time and place. You see way too many people driving 50 through neighborhoods, while they'll barely do 70 in a 65 on the highway. Or you're driving through a 20MPH school zone, kids are walking all around, and someone is right on your ass. Hit the highway and they're left-lane huggers down 5MPH under. Or they know they're driving slower than shit, on a no-passing 2 lane road, they can obviously see the line they're building up, but instead of considering the people behind them and pulling over, they just keep on it.
The flip of this is people driving incredibly slow for the stupidest of things. Cop pulled someone over on the opposite side of the highway. "Hey, fuckstain, they're not gonna forget that guy, jump in their car, and come after you." Rubberneckers should be shot. And I'm dead serious about that. I was caught in a 5 mile, 10mph backup because people were slowing down to see the all lane closing accident on the opposite side of a wide median divided highway "Hey man, everyone wants to see it." No I don't, fuck you, get out of the way, cockmuncher.
And the last on speed are the yo-yo's. They don't really have the skills to manage the throttle (gas pedal), so they speed up to 50, slow down to 40, speed up to 50, slow down to 40. I will pass them on a double-yellow just to get the fuck away from them.

I've been driving my ass off in the last two weeks, so I need to vent. My request to them below.